Had a pretty good IC session. I've got a lot to think about. I told him how I was feeling last night before any of these texts this morning that I was contemplating asking H to stay with his mom for a while. I also told him how close I came to calling OW.
He thinks I should sit on both for a few days before I do anything. He did tell me that if I called OW I needed to be prepared for the 'repercussions' from him. How will he react? I told him that I'm pretty sure he would be livid. He said then don't call unless you're absolutely sure you are prepared for the end & know you don't want to be with him anymore.
I do believe that my mind is in a better state right now, I'm just still feeling a little antsy.
It's crazy, that after everything I've been through, I still feel myself wanting to be with him. Is this normal? Are the feelings real? Also, I want H to be well. With or without me. I think that's progress for me. I didn't ever think I'd be that way. I always thought I'd be the type of person that would be able to move on & not care about his well being. I wish he would get help. I think that may be another reason I would contact the OW if things were truly over. To let her know how messed up he is & maybe she could get through to him. I do want my children to have a father.
M 34 H 35 D 7 D 6 M 10 T 14 Pregnant w/ boy/girl twins-due 12/2013 BD 12/15/12
