I am a NICE shark, not a mindless eating machine.

[Meredith]

I’ll just write something quick to the tune of what we talked about last night…for documentation purposes !

Okay, in this particular case, I think that a burned bridge is actually going to serve you best. Burn down the bridge between Phone Mr. W and Physical Mr. W and fill the void in between the two so that they are one and the same. A bridge connects two things…you don’t want the TWO of them…just a more wonderful version of Mr. W.

So, remember that aliens are naturally buttheads (censoring won’t let me type the real word…we all know what that is). The aliens invade the bodies of WASs and take over their beings while they thrive. Aliens breathe conflict, irritation and anger generated by us. We radiate it off of our persons and they breathe it in. When an alien has a lot to breathe, they thrive better. When they don’t, they begin to die and we see our spouses begin to take on their own form again. Of course, the aliens take quite a while to die and whenever we offer them more to breathe they seem to find a way to come back to life. Stupid aliens. The trick here is to kill the alien dead (or get the fish to trust you…pick your analogy) by not giving them anything to feed from.

When we are certain that the alien has been wiped out, we can begin to cautiously express emotions. No one is happy ALL of the time, including our WASs and they need to learn to deal with these emotions. They may be frightened…but it is part of the process. Eventually they will learn that these emotions that we have won’t kill them and they’ll learn that their role doesn’t have to be to stop the emotion. We have to teach them how to do this by positive reinforcement. First, the alien has to die. Then, Sting and Mr. W have to learn to deal. Easy enough right? HA!

This is easier on the phone. You can be punching the life out of your pillow while you calmly speak to Mr. W. You can just not answer the phone if you feel you’re going to speak sharply to him. You can jump around the room and stomp up and down as he tells you some asinine story about his heroic efforts in cleaning his apartment after you just cleaned your ten-thousand-times-bigger-house WHILE being a mother to your girls. And, he’d never know. The alien never gets to sense those negative feelings and thus, he doesn’t get to breathe them in.

Usually when we’re on the phone, everyone is in their own comfort zone. You feel more comfortable because you know that the alien can’t sense your negative feelings as easily and he feels more comfortable because he’s in his own cave (car, cave, you get the point!). Make sense?

GO YOU BRUCE!!!!