Time for the Loop the Loop on this rollercoaster!

[Tallula]

Hi SM34. It sounds as if you've decided to seek your own happiness again and live the life that YOU want to live. Bravo.

I think that what Tallula wrote is valid, and it's probably what a lot of people hear from well-meaning friends and family. The problem is, of course, that those people don't have to live with the consequences of that decision and what it would mean in your specific situation.

For some people, it's "1 and done" when it comes to infidelity, but that's not how every one of is feels. There is still a good chance that W will have a change of heart and be willing to work on building a 'new' M together. You can get past this.

But to give yourself a shot at achieving that you must continue to GAL and keep a PMA. You're back on track again and I respect your efforts to keep DBing and to improve your sitch. Keep it up!

As I said, that is my truth. Never said it had to be his, plus I'm dealing with a serial chaeater. I was willing to work on my M until I found out there was multiple woman in mine. I don't know if an affair is in your sitch, but actually dealing with it is horrible and tramatic. I would NEVER tell anymore to leave or stay, just that trying to figure out the why's isn't going to fix or change anything. All it does is drive you nuts.

We have all been around since the beginning of his sitch and for me and many others, we don't see any change in his sitch since his wife is a total cake eater and SM is allowing her to live in their home, not work, have an emotional relationship with him WHILE carrying on a open affair in which she drives over an hour away and stays with this man 2 nights a week. I care about SM and his M, but I see what she is doing to him as abusive. I only suggest SM would set a boundary to protect and respect himself. Many others have as well.