God must have sent you to me tonight because I feel divine intervention at work.
Computer problems at work have me beyond down... because McAfee (who I'm feeling free to slam) automatically downloaded a virus scan update on my pc and killed it. I was with a colleague most of the day, on the phone with them, and had nothing resolved by 6 pm. Missed my workout.
Then I got home, and there was my darling husband, seated on the couch next to D6--arms crossed with his usual dour expression. Note to me: What did I find attractive about that man?
Anyway, I waved and said hi weakly. Mr. Mute didn't ask. He finally walked up to the kitchen (where I was taking my coat off) and I don't know what he assumed. I apologized up front for being grumpy... because I know he tends to think only of himself and figures that he's caused my dismay.
He then asked, "What's wrong?"
I told him. And instead of getting any validation or empathy, I get the following response:
"You DO have a network backup system, don't you? Tell me for once that you back up regularly...."
I looked him square in the eye and told him that my backup procedures have been sort of lax lately because of year end crap and other more bizarre things that have popped up when I normally back up. I sighed and said, I realize that I've probably caused more computer glitches by my own neglect, and maybe one day I'll get my act together. You'd think I'd have learned by now.
He gave me a look of complete disgust and then I got the lecture about being responsible for my data and being more diligent in my backups...
Why can't this guy just validate and say wow?
This after he called me this morning, asking if he could steam clean the carpets for me on Saturday? Why is the phone our only medium for him to act like I'm worth talking to?
I did thank him for his offer, but let him know that I have the carpet cleaners scheduled for Friday... a service offered to us through D6's Medicaid program. For anyone who's interested, D6 has a thing for markers on carpets and walls... mixed in with bubble bath and antibacterial soap, it's a real piece of art.
He's so sweet on the phone and so distant in person.
What am I supposed to do?
M, I'm figuring that you are that one person tonight who's made me think about sticking in with it again. But I must say my patience is wearing thin.
Someone tell me that there is some hope here. And if there is some, how do I bridge the difference between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Wonderful? What do I do about the differences in the personas he's presenting me?
And since I'm no shrink, WHY does he do this?
M, BTW, he really liked our MC, who is pro marriage and SBT therapist. But you're absolutely right about the perceived control... this is exactly what my friend suggested last night.
I had decided then that I would just ask him how he would like things to work and see what he says.
But if this a*hole Dr. Jekyll/Computer Nerd/Rocket Scientist/Part Time Parent doesn't do a disappearing act, I don't know what I'm going to do.
File?
All comments and suggestions are appreciated...
Betsey
p.s. M, I'm heading to the HRC dinner on 2/14... wanna be my date?
p.p.s. How are things going with you?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
