I have heard all of you say "do nothing" but it doesn't feel right to leave it alone.
I know this seems counter-intuitive, but there is a reason to leave it be. First, if W is in MLC, the teenager analogy works really well, she is going to view you sniffing around her obsession as controlling, like a parent...this isn't going to help things, at all. Ask any father with a rebellious or conflicted teenage daughter how trying to control contact with some undesirable boy works out....there is a reason why so many here, and elsewhere, say that doing so (trying to control it, prevent it, stop it) pushes them towards the OP.
I have done it both ways during this; confronted in phase 1, and the very beginnings of phase 2, but for the bulk of phase 2 I have kept my mouth shut. It will die a natural death if you leave it alone. And it has to die a natural death for the better outcome. My experience has me pretty convinced that letting it be works better, and more true (tough as it is to wait through).
Sorry, but you can't control this, W has to come to her own conclusions in her own time. Your effort is better spent working on you and showing how the R can be/might be different, because YOU are different.
Give the ADs at least a month to start really having any consistent, noticeable, effect, if any at all.
Hang in there...focus on the good aspects you listed above. Write them down, journalling and gratitude lists have been immeasurably useful to me to be able to see changes, progress, etc...and to keep me going.
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
