Hit hard still taking another step forward.

[T1000]

Old Thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2341208&page=1

My old thread was getting big so this is my new one.

Even though the last week has been one of the hardest, it now feels like my sitch has hit rock bottom in a certain way.
I'm not going to say that maybe it needed to happen. I would much rather it didn't and I would give anything to change that.
Unfortunately life doesn't work that way.

Time to start climbing back up the rock.

[Papa4Life]

You can do it, T. I only wish that W and I could have arranged separate living accomodations sooner. I know that it would have made it clear to her how much she relied in me. But, what's done is done and I'm actually looking forward to living apart, because it will give me space to rediscover that old P4L that I used to know and love. Every cloud, eh?

[T1000]

Every cloud indeed P.

[T1000]

Went for another run today, just over 2 miles averaged 8mins 50 seconds per mile. It was just far enough that my legs are sore but I'm still able to walk.

Found today weird. Can't say why.
W was quiet today but did text me to see if the kids were OK. When I said they were at my mothers she acted a bit weird.

Tomorrow when I drop the kids off (12:00 midday) I'm gonna tell her I'm staying I town for the next few hours and ask her if she wants to do something with the kids later on in the afternoon.
She will probably ask me why I'm staying in town.
The reason I'm staying in town is because I'm going to ride a massive roller coaster to get over my fear of roller coasters. I don't want to tell her that in case I don't do it.

Do I lie? Do I say I will tell her later?

[cbtdad]

I wouldn't ask her when you drop them off. Go tackle that fear first. Btw, that is awesome!! I love roller coasters. W is deathly afraid as well so I know what you're dealing with.
After you tackle the fear then call or text and see if they can get together.
Just a thought

[stilllookingup]

?!? "I don't wanna tell her in case I don't do it" ?!? Then you are not really committed to doing it in the first place. Either tell her and do it or don't tell her and mention it later if you really did it.

Actions speak louder. That's how I've been overcoming my fears lately. I just do it.

[stilllookingup]

IMHO I think you fear too much how your W would react/think about what you say or do. I'm not perfect by any means and I don't always do or say te right thing. But I know I can't live fearing all the time what my H would think.

You've come a long way and have become a much better person since DB-ing. You don't have to lie about anything that you are doing to become a better person. Just a thought.

[T1000]

Thanks cbtdad. Do it then ask.

@ stillookingup
My plan is to do it. Haven't even contemplated not doing it. I also know myself, some things in my life I have wanted to do but couldn't when I got there. I'm trying to change that.

[T1000]

IMHO I think you fear too much how your W would react/think about what you say or do. I'm not perfect by any means and I don't always do or say te right thing. But I know I can't live fearing all the time what my H would think.

You've come a long way and have become a much better person since DB-ing. You don't have to lie about anything that you are doing to become a better person. Just a thought.

You're right.

2 weeks ago I was way more detached than I am now. Her opinion didn't hold a lot of weight with me. In the last two weeks I got back on board the crazy train and now my head is filled with W.

[Jeack]

Good luck with the roller coaster!