Just because I like chick flicks doesn't mean I should lose my man card. My last 24 hours:
Quoted Fight Club (3x) & Braveheart Ran 5 miles Watched couple innings of Tigers game Watched Fight Club and part of Gladiator Did some Muay Thai training Ate Oreos for lunch Took apart a dishwasher and ordered new pump Watched MSU spring football scrimmage (Green & White game) Played with kids (so much fun!!!) Sang at church and discussed setting up new men's small group Read some of Mars & Venus book Now getting ready to watch UFC
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
Been a while since my last update so here goes. I really need to update more so these don't always turn into books...
Mediation on the 25th was rescheduled to 5/1 due to mediator scheduling issue. The mediation went terrible. Going into it I thought we were close on everything and only a little off on custody (i.e. I wanted 50/50 and she was at 6/14 days for me every 2 weeks). They came in with completely different requests (started with I'd get 4/14 and said they'd consider 5/14 days for me). The custody and money weren't anything like what we discussed and her L was unwilling to move. She even got caught in a lie during the mediation... So we're headed to court and I'm sure things will get more unpleasant. I'll stick with facts and not let emotions drive my actions. I won't waiver from my mantra of acting with honor, dignity, and grace no matter what she tries to do.
W and I did talk a little since then regarding the custody and I proposed a schedule that I felt was fair and worked for both us and more importantly the kids. She said she'd think about it but wouldn't agree. I tried to discuss why she felt entitled to more time so I could understand where she was coming from but most her points didn't make sense or just weren't factual. I countered every one of her reasons with facts and I stayed calm through entire discussion. She did bait me a couple times trying to hit old buttons but I didn't let it affect me. This portion of the discussion I didn't validate much because she's trying to take my kids from me. It got so ridiculous that her last point to why she thought she deserved more custody was because she made the grocery lists every week... She knows without a doubt I'm ready to fight in court for the kids so we'll see what happens, I hope she reconsiders and does what's fair and right for the kids. Other than that it's been pretty quiet. I really have nothing to say to her and it's been close to full LRT (as close as can be in same house).
The charity race that I helped her setup (truth be told I did most the work) I'm still continuing to work on. One of the things she complained about was I didn't finish things so I'm finishing this one. I finished up a few loose ends this weekend and everything should be ready to go. I'm also going to run in the race since she didn't get as many runners as she wanted and I want to get a half in anyway. I might not go to the post party or if I do I'll just play with the kids. It will only be her family and her new friends going, all our old couple friends have told me they aren't going any more... I feel for whatever reason I should still run it and I think I'll be able to get through it without being hurt (sadly I'm pretty much numb to everything with her anymore).
Since mediation I've had an eerie calm about my sitch. I don't feel much of anything towards saving my M at this time. Before I wanted to R so bad that I was letting myself get hurt because of my own expectations/ hopes. Now I'm just going about my life and I see W as person trying to take my kids away. I'm not angry, or hostile, I'm just ready to fight for what I believe in.
I also know I still love my W but it feels like it's a different kind of love. I care about her and want her to be happy but (at this time) I don't think I want her in my life anymore. Never know what tomorrow brings but that's how I feel today and it's been building to this for quite a while.
As expected GAL has picked up even more. After mediation last Wednesday I had first T-ball practice (I'm coach) and working with kids is a riot. It was exactly what I needed after mediation. Thursday golf league started which was a blast. Friday my D7 and I volunteered at a special needs prom. She was a greeter and I was a buddy for someone for the night. One of the most amazing nights I've had, so much fun and so proud that my D7 enjoys serving so much. My buddy from dance and I have even texted a little since. Very cool!!! Saturday had another T-ball practice then hung out with kids rest of day and we did some yard work, went for bike ride(s), and went hiking and geocaching. First time trying that and we found both things we looked for. Sunday went to church, went for a nice run, then played outside with kids rest of day.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
I think fighting for time with the kids is an absolute.
Sounds like your doing very well for what your up against. Keep up the GAL and be ready for shifts in your emotions.
Keep posting, we are here for you.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
The GAL is extremely important. I didn't feel like I was doing enough of it, or with the right attitude, until just a few weeks ago...but of course, I had the T-factor helping me .
Continue to focus on you. What do you want out of life? What are your plans going forward?
sorry Spartan.I am pretty certain my W would use the exact same antics when coming to custody. Make sure you have a good lawyer. There is no reason during present times that you can't have 50/50 custody unless you are abusive etc. It isn't the 70's anymore
It was a great movie.