NILWY - There is this "chemistry" b/w us

[Kim65]

It's been a good ten days since I've had a chance to get back to the DB site.

KD - I'm H's 2nd partner, his first wife had 2 daughters from a previous R when they met. H and his W were together for 16yrs. H was devastated when she left, H and I meet approximately 5 months later...

I've visited H's father and siblings last week, was great to see them and his dad looks well considering what he's been through. They are all at a loss and are disappointed with his actions, his father is particularly up set with him. I didn't make our "breakup" the focus of my visit,I had a good day with them.

I moved out over the weekend. H was away while this happened as he said he didn't want to be there. On the Friday am H was very quiet, was mostly up in his room which was not the norm. I went to leave for work so went to his room and said I'll see you tonight when you get home from work before u go. He looked a me with a blank expression on his face and shock his head. I said to him " well good bye??!" H nodded... I turned around, walked up the passage way and could feel myself getting upset, and said "so that's it then"... he called out to me and followed me, I was crying, just felt that the last 8&1/2 yrs ment nothing.

H did hug me for a moment,again said I need to move on. It's not goodbye as I'd still see him, just not in the way I wanted. I told him that all I wanted was to say a decent goodbye to each other. I said It was ok for him as he had moved on, just like that!!... H still had no expression on his face, said that he "fell in love with someone else" .... I told him that I still love him, he say how could you after all I've done to you?? I said I just do...

I turned and left, it was not the way I had planed for us to say bye!! . I did all the things I shouldn't of.... let my emotions get the better of me. Now all I can do is leave him be, get on with GAL, keep busy and look after myself. In time he will call although I do have to contact him in regards to an appointment to have an agreement written up about the house.

I'll just keep reading the DM and DB books and look forward to the holiday that we had planned together in around 8 weeks time which we both still intend to go on together, even if it is as friends!!! I still don't understand how the OW is going to be happy about him going?? Not that's my concern, he has sworn that he is still going to go. H has been the one through out his mess that has pushed for us to continue to go?

I'm now at the start of a new chapter in my life, I'll move forward and maybe one day H will decide to "catch up"... and maybe he won't. But as we all know time, will tell.....