Bets,
Yes, the insurance companies LIE and you just have to PUSH, threat, repeat phone calls until you get them to do what is right.....X taught me this, that they delay paying , saying 'wrong code, need clarification etc cause every month they don't pay they collect big bucks just in interest on their banked money!
I started doing this (which you can't do cause you work)...I called and got someone on the line and said, look, i don't work and I need to get this straightened out, so I'm willing to stay on the phone ALL DAY until we get this resolved....and then every argument they came up with I countered with one of my own. But i was very NICE about it.
Bets, I believe COBRA and HIPPA are NATIONWAL rules...we in Colorado have to abide by them too, but again, your company AND the insurance co will LIE....get a phone that tapes all this stuff and use it.(Ha, i might just have an extra!!!! )

Well, maybe he doesn't fear any emotion....exactly. Maybe he thinks you use emotions to blackmail or manipulate him.
That is what mine thinks, I beleive....Again, it is all about him, so you aren't ALLOWED to have a real emotion..P/A not only personalize everything, but they HAVE to feel it is all about them because anything else would require EMPATHY...and usually P/A based people have a hard time with empathy...getting out of their skin and trying to look through someone elses eyes. So he was honest in that it isn't quite fear or only fear....it is more that he deals with his emotions by closing them down and expects you to do the same and when you don't, he believes that you are trying to manipulate him.
Or at least that is what I've come up with....could be completely wrong of course!

He does fear being needed..remember, that is the base concept of P/A. He fears being manipulated and controlled.
He also fears you needing him....and that is the one that is so SELFISH that it sticks in my craw. And I swear I can't think of anything to do about it other than a BRAIN TRANSPLANT...does our insurance even cover one of those?

Well babe, off to play tennis then an all nighter finishing up deposition questions which will be a blast....when I get to watch him answer hahahahahahhha
Linda