Say What??

[2chiquitos]

Thank you Bustingout and IO for stopping by. I really appreciate it. I see this as receiving my LL-quality time ;-)

Journaling....
Today was a peaceful day. I have to thank myself for that. I could've stirred the pot but I kept myself busy and focused on myself. I'm doing much better at this.

Let me tell you why I could've stirred the pot...

H n I sleep in separate beds. He sleeps with S4 and I sleep with D1. I woke up to nurse D1 at 4am and shortly after heard his cell ring. He answered and it was a very very quick conversation.

Before I would've done one of the following, or all of them!

1-walked into the bedroom and asked him who he was talking to. Asked to see his call log.

2-next morning I would've brought it up. also, asked to see his call log.

3-I would've obsessed about it all morning and not gone back to sleep.

4-I would've been giving him the cold shoulder all day.

Instead, I remembered that whatever is going on with that phone call is none of my business. If she called then he needs to handle it. He continues to make plans about our future as a family and he hasn't left so whatever he's doing is again, his business.

I've learned the hard way not to try and control a situation or manipulate it to go my way. Instead I'm allowing things to fall where they may.

If she is in the picture and I become aware of it without looking for it, (and it disrupts my serenity) that's when I will decide how to get my serenity back.

For my kids sake, I need to be in a calm place. Praying, meditating, talking to other's not involved in my sitch,etc helps a lot!