Dub - the "gift of time" is a term used to describe the fact that when someone says they want a D and the other party doesn't or if the party that does, slow rolls the process because they aren't sure D is really what they want, then what you have is the gift of time. Time to work on fixing those things that are problems within your control. Time for healing to occur. Time for hurt, anger and resentments to fade. Time to plan and build for your future, with or without your spouse.
My W told me 18 months ago that she was DONE. We were hurtling head first towards D. But here we are 18 months later, still married. We may still end up D but a lot of time has passed that has allowed both of us to reflect and to change and to decide what we want for our lives. We are less angry, less antagonistic towards each other and we actually do things together with the kids.
That ^^^ is the gift of time!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
