Had birthday party for S today. Enjoyed all the preparations and seeing how excited he was by the whole thing. Made my first birthday cake. Was a real mess, but still tasted all right. Messaged a picture of it to my XW as a sort of joke (she always used to complain she couldn't make a good cake, so I was showing er my best effort). No response. Mutual friends avoided the party and didn't bother to tell me they were doing so. I guess that is another indication that I don't have them as friends anymore.

Good: I enjoyed throwing S the birthday party I never would have while we were still married. Helps in my bond with him.

Bad: The idea that this might somehow help in my R with XW seem pretty delusional right now.

Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself.


H: 38 xW: 38
M: 16 T: 18
S: 9
BD: 2/2012
W moved out 4/2012
D: 11/2012