My Story - Need Advice (Thread 2)

[Accuray]

Yep, my MC said that 90% of the time the therapy is useless because only one party is coming to work. He said usually the reluctant partner is there to:

a) Help the LBS find peace with and accept their decision to leave

b) Help the LBS recognize and fix all the issues that the LBS has

c) Tick the box to say that they "tried" MC before they walked away

He said that it's only effective if both parties fundamentally want the marriage to work, but lack the tools to get past their blocking issues. He said that unfortunately, most people come to MC two years too late, by which time the resentments have gotten too great and one person has checked out.

The other place I think it can be helpful is if you both accept it's over, but want to be the most effective co-parents you can be. In that case, once again, you have a shared goal so the sessions can actually help you.

Chris, I would wait on MC until your W tells you that she wants the marriage to work. Before that, she's better off with IC and you're better off with a DB coach.

Accuray