You don't NEED to talk to her. You WANT to talk to her. There is a world of difference.
Heck, I want to talk to my W, too. Sometimes it takes what is left of my will and common sense not to pick up that phone and call or text.
If you honestly think that you are going to whisper something in her ear that is going to miraculously turn it all around, you are just fooling yourself.
I read this somewhere... "You are not going to talk yourself out of something you worked your way into."
She can talk to you any time she wants. She is choosing not to. You can not force it. It you try to force that square peg in the round hole, it will prove to be painful. I learned this lesson the first time my W and I separated.
Your little tirade of texts were very belittling at best. That series of texts made me cringe. I was shocked. Do you really think apologizing for them is just going to smooth it over? Not on your life, brother.
Another thought... What is knowing if she is gay or not going to do for you? Is it going to alleviate you of your responsibility in the breakdown of the M? Is it going to make you look better with friends or family that you are getting D'd because she's gay?
I have a buddy in NY that was getting a D because of the very same reason. She was so unhappy in her M that she took up with a lesbian because she thought that her unhappiness was caused by her new found orientation. After she had a four or five month live in affair with the OW, she came to the conclusion that she was really just going through confusion caused by the M and her relationship with her H and really was not gay after all.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
