I get it. It is very painful and not something we aniticipate and therefore can't prepare.
What I wanted you to hear.. Wasn't that I was judging you by saying you're an awful person.. It was more to give you an outside look and what your wife may be feeling. The self-preservation mode.. Though effect sometimes comes off as indifference which is not the message we intend to portray.
It's ok to not want to talk about something while emotions run high.. In fact it's better to postpone.. But maybe saying something along the lines of "I understand this talk is very important to you. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Could we agree on a later time to discuss it?". In my own experience I have learned that the only way I can discuss finances and emotionally charged subjects with H is through email because I usually end up in tears and H becomes defensive and walks out.
