Is this cake eating 13

[NLW]

S14 rang me from interstate tonight. He was laughing with his hotel roommates and having a great time on his big adventure.

I sat around with D17 watching football on TV and eating chocolate. We'd been out earlier looking in shops for clothes for a party that she's going to tomorrow night.

I'm so lucky to have my kids.

[wishing, hoping]

Another busy day at work.

D17 and I ran into XH and OW at the supermarket on the way home today.

First time she's seen them together.

She was shaken. So was I.

Within 20 mins I got a text from him offering again to 'pick up the car and get a quote for repairs'.

Ha! How about you pay for some basics like food, clothing, schooling and medical first?

They make me sick. They have no shame - and no consideration for the children.

I think I will have to give up shopping here.

It's too awful anticipating that they might be around every next corner.

I didn't want to be the one hounded out of our village.

But it seems like I'm putting myself and the kids in unnecessary pain.

What a POS this man and that 'woman' are.

I wish I'd never met him. The sooner I can relegate him to the category of sperm donor, the better, I think. Feeling compassion for him and his crisis is bringing me and the kids nothing but pain and suffering.

Come to think of it, he didn't 'donate' anything. He's cost me a fortune.

Tonight I agree with his own assessment: He IS a scumbag, and they deserve each other.

(((NLW)))

I am so sorry. You don't deserve this. I wish I could help you somehow.

I am with you, sister. You took the words right out of my mouth.

Take care of yourself.

WH

[albamarie]

NLW-

Your are luck to have your kids, and they are your kids, he will never be the same person to them again, mine are older and say - that is not the man that raised me, he is gone. Hold them tight!

Scumbag, yea I like that, right outa his own mouth!

Have a great weekend NLW!

[2chiquitos]

NLW,
You're so fortunate that XH is being weird and this new sitch allows you to focus on other things besides him.

I hope he continues to be weird and you continue to move ahead.

[BFloat]

it's unfortunate that the 2 of them can't think of the kids and at least shop somewhere else. lovely that XH couldn't even apology for the awkwardness and hurt it caused your D.

you are lucky to have your kids... and they are lucky to have you.

[NLW]

WH, Dawn, 2Chiq, BF

Great to hear from you all.
Your messages of support really sustain me through this.

Thanks for being here to cheer me on and for giving me your take on things.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

[bustingout]

Hi NLW, how are you and your kids doing today? ((((( )))))

[NLW]

Hi Busting,
Thanks for asking.

S14 and I had a strange experience.

He had a medical specialist appointment and XH wanted to come. Actually when he heard that S14 was going, he emailed that he wanted to take him himself and would pay for the consult (!!!!!!!).

I simply replied that he was welcome to come with us.

Bad idea.

He acted like a weirdo. Right off the bat, he scribbled out my phone number from the patient information form and put his own on it as the contact person for S14.

He spoke precisely 3 words to S14 the whole time (30 mins waiting and 20 mins consult).

He blurted out to me in the waiting room "When can I pick up the car to get a quote for repairs?"

And this was his only topic of conversation throughout.

Me saying "Don't want to talk about it here" and him persisting. I eventually told him that we needed to pay S14's outstanding school fees of - wait for it - $17,500 before he incurred more debt.

But XH just went right on saying I had to let him take the car to get a quote.

To add insult to injury, he was parading around in a brand new extremely expensive Italian suit - I suspect a Brioni (for those in the know about such matters), as he'd dropped the name into conversation a couple of times in the last week .

I felt like vomitting.

No food or expenses for the kids, but thousands of dollars on a new suit for himself.

Have to keep reminding myself that he really has lost touch with reality. That this HAS to be what is wrong with him. It's just all too much to deal with any other way.

S14 was visibly withdrawn and upset by his father's strange behaviour.

Everyone would have been better off if he had not come along.

I am really at the stage of wanting someone else to confirm that XH is behaving certifiably. Or criminally.
I feel like I'm trapped in some sort of insane back-to-front-world.
If only someone else could see how he is behaving.

I'm so tired of it being just me who has to fight him, day after day.

I no longer answer my home phone when it rings in case it's him.
And I'm too scared to look at my email after about 5pm in case there's another threatening demand that keeps me worrying and awake all night.

This is not just a marathon, it's like a war of attrition. Or maybe a siege.

I don't think it's enough to simply try to 'detach' - it's more that i'm downright worn out by the need to protect us from his strange actions. I don't feel love for him any more. I definitely don't want him back.

[bustingout]

Oh NLW I feel for you.

And I am so sorry for what your children are going through.

I am here for you NLW. ((((( )))))

[BFloat]

it sounds like you've started going dark. i think that may be the best thing right now. to protect yourself, and the kids.

doesn't seem like there's any reasoning with him at the present time. if my legs were longer.. i'd boot him clear into tomorrow.

(((((( )))))