I still like blue, what else?

[albamarie]

Nero, Portia, All,

I have been reading around here and finding that maybe we, the LBS, are victims of our SO who where victims. We, who all seem to be exceptionally loving people, maybe saw that " something " in them that they latched on and it gave them the strength to get out of their darkness.

But, as I am reading more and more, age, work, any kind of change, there are a handful of them that can't cope, revert to what seems to be the best choice for them, their all to familiar darkness. They start to believe the change they made for "us" wasn't worth it because they failed, that's why it becomes all our fault. We were proven a mistake because now they are miserable or failures and we were the only constant so it must have been our R.

OP, they put in their lives, no matter how much they suk, are not the cause of their present state so they are free of blame. I guess that's why it takes time for our SO's to see the OP as a POS, or they never do and the OP fits right in to the dark person our h's always were, and have retuned to.

I have been told some of this by my h, he did say he changed from who he was, dark, to M and give change a try, give walking w/God a try, to see if it leads him to his mansion on earth and in heaven. He now considers himself returning to himself, and he fits in better with EA gang, and I need to let him, stay back, and maintain the family.

I fought that for 2yrs, I see now that I was fighting for him not to revert, but to stay focused on the man he became when he went to college, M me, became a F, and L God. I didn't save him, I didn't break him, I don't belong with this version of "him", and now I finally get it! I saw it when I read Antonia's post, he has returned to something I am not a part of, and he sees it clearly, he doesn't want me a part of it, it just took me some time to see and let go!

Thanks all for you support, I am stronger for it! <3 dawn