Sorry I've been dark again...not really intentional.
W and I have been having some other serious discussions. I know I have been supposed to be leaning out, but she has been talking... I know, I know better. Ugh, I'm an idiot at times.
Recap is, she feels that her decision to leave was right, but, feels confused at times about her life, what she wants, missing us and our life, etc, but she can not comit to anything. This has led to me saying I want to hear what she has to say, go to a therapist too (she brought that up again) and we should try....These conversations and opinions have gone as all of you would expect... Her response in text was: "I am willing to talk to you and with you, and with the help of a therapist, to figure out how we got here (broken), what led to me leaving. If we can clearly understand each other in that area we both can make a decision on the future"
She now wants to come over tonight to talk to me about reasons why she left, and then presumably go from there on how we want to proceed...going to a therapist and starting to talk.
I'm struggling with all this...perhaps I expect too much from her? We are in two different places, and I also can't deal with the emotional roller coaster of all this blame from her. However, I know that she deserves to have her say about how she felt and feels. And if there is ANY chance for us in the future, that this is the first step on that road.
My brother this to me: "You want and expect her to say, yep, I'll go to a therapist and TRY with the goal of fixing our marriage. But, she says she can't comit to that bc she feels the marriage is broken, or she would have stayed. You feel she isn't willing to try, he, she wants to talk to you about why she left, and go to a therapist and start talking about you guys....that IS her trying, even if she doesnt fully realize or admit it...it's just as much as she can give...right now...she's told you that. You or her don't know what may come of therapy...maybe you guys just become friends, or maybe you work through your issues, and are stronger and happier...I'd do it with a smile on my face if she offered to talk and to go, but it's up to you"
What do you guys think? Really looking for as much advice as possible. I've told her to come over tonight at this point.
