So, W will get my settlement agreement tonight or tomorrow morning and given that I had it written with what she asked me for, I fully expect her to sign. We also have interest in the house, so perhaps the stars will align and I can be out of this in the next month or two.
We had hammered out most of the details of the D, with only a few items remaining and a week ago, I was ready to sign the papers. I was basically LRT, happy all the time, going out, doing things I wanted to try, meeting new people.
Last Sunday, someone had posted about the blog, "Marry, Divorce, Reconcile" and as I read thru some of the articles, a couple of them really touched me. I thought, I'd really like to share this with W. I had mixed feelings about sending it, but eventually wrote her some things I was thinking (related to her lack of forgiveness and self-worth) and sent her an email with the links.
At the end of the email I basically asked her if she was absolutely sure D is what she wants. I fully expected her to say "I'm sure." Imagine my surprise Monday morning when she said "No, I do not want a D."
We've talked quite a few times this week, most of them productive, even when emotions ran high. There's a lot of issues to work thru, and lot to discuss. We're both really scared, but I think that only makes sense.
We've agreed to sit down today and finalize some boundaries. I've pretty much given her my list already, and she seems to be ok with them. Will be some challenges related to OM, but she seems to be up for them. We've already agreed to read "After the Affair" together and use that as a discussion point.
Outside of that, I guess my mindset is go slow, have a beginners mind, and start dating my wife
