Portia, Everything's complicated isn't it? Heard a country song yesterday, something about can't separate the salt from the sugar, lol made me kinda laugh (I am not a huge country music fan, but heard this song kind of by accident and really liked it. The song is called Stupid by Kacey Musgrave, have a listen on youtube, it might make you )
And yes, I do all the finances, so no, there's no sneaking from the accounts. KML suggested H might have credit cards I don't know about, and while that is possible, it seems unlikely. Because he's not particularly computer savvy, and I'm a fairly good snoop, and furthermore, he's more of an "in your face" kind of person. Well, in my face anyway. And also, we declared bankruptcy a few years back so getting a credit card isn't the easiest thing for either of us. (And he'd have to be making some sort of payments on the cards, IDK where that could come from....)
IMHO, it would be far more likely that H has a cash stash somewhere. This could be seen as just as damaging as hidden accounts, because it would mean he was letting the family struggle whilst he sat on an egg.
But, and I'm literally shrugging as I type this, "oh well". He'll do what he's gonna do. He doesn't even have access to 2 out of 3 of the house accounts, and the third one he only uses the card as "credit" because he can't remember his PIN. He doesn't even have online access to any of the accounts - has never wanted to be bothered.
Snodderly,
Hi stranger! You must be busy with gardening now? Or are your knees not ready for that yet? Winter has finally let go up here in Ohio - yay!! I want to plant some, something lol. IDK what exactly. I want trees!! I know I want a willow out back by the creek, and something small and flowery in the front yard. I need to get busy on that.
Yep the $200 was a needed thing. Hope the "payoff" continues.
I am very proud The older two have their demons, school never came as easy to them. Well, it could have for S20 but he took a drug detour , as did D18 (although she has some sort of learning challenge as well...) But even those 2 are moving along. They aren't doing what I dreamt of them doing, back when I held them in my arms, but they have to make their own paths.
Gonna go drag out the vacuum...
Have a great day!!
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
, as did D18 
