Portia, Everything's complicated isn't it? Heard a country song yesterday, something about can't separate the salt from the sugar, lol made me kinda laugh (I am not a huge country music fan, but heard this song kind of by accident and really liked it. The song is called Stupid by Kacey Musgrave, have a listen on youtube, it might make you )
And yes, I do all the finances, so no, there's no sneaking from the accounts. KML suggested H might have credit cards I don't know about, and while that is possible, it seems unlikely. Because he's not particularly computer savvy, and I'm a fairly good snoop, and furthermore, he's more of an "in your face" kind of person. Well, in my face anyway. And also, we declared bankruptcy a few years back so getting a credit card isn't the easiest thing for either of us. (And he'd have to be making some sort of payments on the cards, IDK where that could come from....)
IMHO, it would be far more likely that H has a cash stash somewhere. This could be seen as just as damaging as hidden accounts, because it would mean he was letting the family struggle whilst he sat on an egg.
But, and I'm literally shrugging as I type this, "oh well". He'll do what he's gonna do. He doesn't even have access to 2 out of 3 of the house accounts, and the third one he only uses the card as "credit" because he can't remember his PIN. He doesn't even have online access to any of the accounts - has never wanted to be bothered.
Snodderly,
Hi stranger! You must be busy with gardening now? Or are your knees not ready for that yet? Winter has finally let go up here in Ohio - yay!! I want to plant some, something lol. IDK what exactly. I want trees!! I know I want a willow out back by the creek, and something small and flowery in the front yard. I need to get busy on that.
Yep the $200 was a needed thing. Hope the "payoff" continues.
I am very proud The older two have their demons, school never came as easy to them. Well, it could have for S20 but he took a drug detour , as did D18 (although she has some sort of learning challenge as well...) But even those 2 are moving along. They aren't doing what I dreamt of them doing, back when I held them in my arms, but they have to make their own paths.
Gonna go drag out the vacuum...
Have a great day!!
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
I've been doing some gardening, but the weather has been up and down here. Cold, chilly, windy, rainy and then back in the 60's/70's. The spring hasn't been one of the better ones, but I'll take any day w/sunshine.
A weeping willow is a very graceful tree and I've always admired them around creeks and ponds. They are beautiful trees. Will crepe mytle do well in your area? It flowers later in the summer and is quite pretty and it comes in pink, white or lavender.
I do hope things are going well for you. Hopefully this week will be a quiet one for you. I'm praying that your h will continue to give you some of his winnings. It's always nice to have a little extra cash come in when you least expect it.
Take care!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
And the willingness of these MLCers to run head first into the oncoming train. Everyone sees the train but them! The way people make life choices sometimes just boggles the mind. He already broke up with this GF once after a few months shouldn't that say something about the viability of that relationship? Of course, I must remind myself that I will not ever likely know the truth of that relationship since I could not count on xSO to be truthful.
This morning at breakfast H announces he has a great idea for a book or a movie.
He says, "imagine a society where if you wanted a divorce, you'd go before a judge and if the judge granted you a divorce, the only way to carry it out was to kill your spouse. Like, the judge would say, "I grant you this divorce. May the best person win." And the couple would go out separate exits and one would have to kill the other in order to complete the divorce."
I chew my eggs, look at H, and think. I think in about 8 million directions, but say nothing.
"Well," he demands, "what do you think?"
I told him I wasn't sure... but should I be worried?
H SIGHS "Why do you have to take everything so seriously?!?"
~ just another day in paradise here
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
I'll play! My h would stand still and let me take aim! It is an absolute shame that this condition is not more looked into by the medical community. I equate it to Alzheimer's, at least my for my H, he has no idea who he is or ever was.
You handled that very cool, good for you! I would have asked the same question!
I love paradise....someone pointed me in the wrong direction!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
, as did D18 
