Sorry to hear of your recent events. For what it's worth, I think most of us have had several BD's. I know I've had at least 3-4, and unintentionally brought at least one of them on with my comments, and W is still here. So relax and stay calm. Be the rock.
Dust yourself off and get back on track. Continue to give her space. If she confronts you with talk of D, listen and validate. Do not begin the D process unless D is what you want. You can't fix her, and even you doing all the D legwork won't fix her/make her happy.
Your W has to come to the conclusion that you are not the cause of the pain she is in. This will take time. She is upset with the life choices she has made, more than she is upset with you. It's just easier to blame it on you. Understand this and you won't have to take her cruel words personally.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
