T, thank you. Your words made me cry. I am humbled by them.
It really is an honor for me to pay it forward in any way I can.
I am glad you are taking a break from reading about all this. It gets to you after awhile.
I LOVE that quote and I agree completely.
I was thinking today about my sitch. When all this happened, my son was 16. He was just starting to become a man and this really derailed him.
Everyone told me to tell him about his father and what he had done. But for me, it just didnt feel right.
I told myself I would not lie to my son if he asked me a direct question.
When speaking to him, I said, that what happened between his father and I had nothing to do with him. And those things were between us.
I reminded him that he was a good father to him and that he loved him.
I told him that I wished things had turned out differently. he asked if I tried to save the marriage. I answered that I had.
I knew that if I told him about the affair and everything else, knowing my son, he would no longer speak to his father.
I would do nothing to cause harm to their relationship. It was theirs to forge.
I was also torn because I worried that my son would not really know who his father was.
I prayed alot and realized that my son needed to make decisions about his father on his own.
And he has. They are trying to rebuild their relationship, but, my son does not have the same kind of respect for him that he once did.
He tells me that his dad quit on his family. He walked away when it was too hard. I listen mostly and answer questions when he asks.
He also has thanked me for never saying a bad word about his dad. He thanked me for allowing him to have a relationship with him. He told me he has a lot of friends whose moms say horrible things about their exh's and put their kids in the middle.
It was a choice I made. I do not regret it for a minute.
