Thanks, but I can do what? Keep DB so w can realize that she is making the biggest mistake of her life which will affect our s as well or ? A part of me sais to fight her on what she wants. She still doesn't know that I know about her friend. Something I can use against her. If it is over I can not let her have her cake and eat it too. I know I will be ok and I will do everything in the world to make my s happy and have this not affect him bad.
You can do this, meaning you can continue to not react, breathe, work on you, take some time to make the choices that you question. I have been reminded over and over that this is the hardest thing we may ever go through and I agree. I'm sure you are angry, hurt, scared AND your doing a great job right now with what is happening. Continue to come here and post, journal and vent!
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I was planning on re mulching the yard tomorrow but having second thoughts on that. I am going to cut the grass tho. Might just cut the grass and take some time to myself the rest of the day. W and s have their day together. Trying to motivate myself in going out tomorrow night. I am also wondering if I should acknowledge to w that I got served today. I am sure she knows.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
Sorry to hear. Go on protect mode now. Definitely mention to your L on Monday. Yes don't say much to W over the weekend don't tell her your plans. If I were you I'd get my ducks in a row--meaning get your finances, custody, assets planned out. That's what I would do. Stay poised don't show her you're defeated by this. Keep us posted.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
Thank you Newman. I am surprisingly doing ok this morning. Still have that sick feeling in my stomach. I am going to play it cool this weekend. I do have an appointment w my coach on Tuesday. Do you or does anyone know someone that has gotten to this point and what they did?
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
I'm glad you're doing ok. Why are you having second thoughts on mulching the yard? Because of the papers? IMO keep your plans.
Also about the papers, don't you have to answer in 30days? I don't know I'm not a L but I assume you need some kind of a response. Does your W retained a L? How many kids do you have under 18? It will probably help the boards if you put some info on your signature line.
IMO you need to get a lot of info in the D process just for you so you don't get blindsided especially if she has a L. I think you have some time and can consult 2-3 L to get different opinions, their initial consultation is free at least in my state. Good luck to you Kenva hopefully some of the vets will chime in.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
Do I acknowledge to her that I got served yesterday? I'm pretty sure she has been informed by her attorney. If she knows, I am not going to let her see that it is upsetting to me.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
Don't volunteer the info, only if she ask and then just say yes nothing more, calm not upset, not rude-- make her think what you're thinking. Poker face on Kenva.
I see you have s6 focus on you and him now, think about whats best for you and him....have you thought about custody? 50/50 is fair right?
In my sitch, if I ever get in this point my agreement would've been 2-2-3, it's basically alternating weekends. I will also let the kids stay in the house while W and I take turns so that it's mimimal to disrupt their lives.
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
I thought about not telling her to keep her guessing w what is going on w me inside. On the custody , she wants to be parental custody w me seeing him on Wednesdays and every other weekend. She knows and she told me she knows that I DO NOT want to be a weekend father. My attorney did tell me she is going to want a wish list and that this will go back and forth.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
Good yes don't tell her anything. On custody, are you ok with that? Remember you have a say in this...why does she think you're not a weekend father? Is it because of work and your s6 will not have care? Are you both working?
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
I am not ok w her custody arrangement she wants. I want my son more. In the weekend father, its that I don't want him only on the weekends. She wants out and she knows I don't. I feel like I am getting the raw end of the deal here. I want my son to live w me primarily.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
