The unexpected journey continues

[AJM]

I would be beside myself with grief if that were me, but he has just gone on, seemingly unbothered.

You might, but he is not in a place where he can feel or see that right now. Kind of like he walled that off. And even if he did feel bad about it later, he may never tell you that. He certainly wouldn't let you see that now. He won't let you see if he's bothered by it or not, but I'm fairly certain it bothers him. His way of dealing with it is what you don't understand. His blocking you from seeing his feelings is what has you guessing.

The ugliness and fear of litigation. Sweetheart, you didn't ask for this, did you? You didn't tell him to get lost or close the door on him, even after all the things he did. Even if you did, you have every right to do that.

Don't fear the litigation. Don't think of it as ugly. Think of it as shining a light on what is going on. What's there is there, you didn't make it ugly and you didn't ask for it. It simply is what is there and the light will only show what already is. In fact, don't get emotionally involved in litigation. It doesn't do any good and it prevents you from acting in your best interest. What's done is done; you can't make it ugly or pretty. Take that off the table of thought.

There's nothing you can do to make him "ugly" or angry or happy or sad or... You can however take steps to protect yourself and your boys from him. I suggest you do so in a business-like manner and leave the emotion out of it. Save the emotion for other things

Peace,
AJ