[Papa4Life]

Hi in_it. Man, that's weak of your H to do that. Saying his flight was delayed. That's pretty typical of a WAH.

But something like that shouldn't be enough to pressure you to backslide on all the very positive progress you've made in DBing. You've been there on my thread a couple times offering encouragement when I was in the "negative zone, so I'm here to return the favor: you're a good person and great mom, and the best way to deal with this is to focus on yourself and the kids.

He knows that what he did is wrong (and pathetic and weak), and I would bet pounds to pennies that in his mind he's hoping that you'll get all LBS on him so he can convince himself of what a bad person you are and hence get some justification for the pain he's caused you. I say, let him think about what he's done and leave him alone with his conscience. That's a much harsher punishment than anything you could dish up. In fact, that really gets to the heart of DBing, doesn't it? You leave them alone to consider their actions, and you redirect the energy you would have used on pursuing and wrestling with your emotions towards making yourself happy. That's what I think you should be focussing on right now.

And not only does that spare you the pain and turmoil that H is stirring up, but it really makes you much more attractive as a person. I read somewhere that scientists have discovered that people are seven times as likely to be considered attractive just by putting on a smile. So take that as encouragement to not only slap a smile on your face but, in a sense, to make everything about you and everything in your life a smile. See what I'm getting at?