Betsey, Your head must be spinning- lots to think about, isn't there, my friend? I just want to say this- I understand that our emotions get the best of us at times. I can totally understand that you were first upset with the big news, but then came to see it in a new light. There are times when H makes me crazy, but I come here and vent and by the time I get back to H about it, the big deal is now something quite small. Many times I feel stuck in the same place you're in. I have been told so many times that my reactions are not "right" ("I hate when you cry", "Why do you react so defensively?" "Why is this making you angry?") that I begin to spend time trying to find the "right" way to react in order to bring about the best type of conversation. I look at it as the necessary evil to get the ball rolling.
I respect Trish for saying what she needed to say. We are all here for the same reason. Trish, I guess we all come from different perspectives. It is essential that we all share what we have. We need to go over every angle in order to get the full picture. Your experience is going to help Betsey in a way that mine can't. I know it was scary and difficult to do what you did. I'm quite sure Betsey knows that a real friend isn't only there for the easy stuff. This is not about "right" and "wrong" as I am sure you all know. It is about what is right for Betsey, what's right for her H, what's right for Meredith, etc...
To me, your post is the best kind. Anything that gives me something to seriously think about is very well appreciated. I can't speak for Betsey, of course, but since her mind works at twice the speed of mine, well, I'm thinking she likes having something new to roll around in there. Maybe she'll find a hard truth, maybe she'll find something to disagree wtih. Either way, it will bring about some serious soul searching.
It's all yours, Bets. You give us so much of your time. Take all you need now to dig thru all of that. We're here for you!
