I am not upset with the way you've handles yourself. I am very very proud of you. I just felt like things getting a little off track.
I am extremely proud of you and in awe of the way you have persevered. I am actually more concerned with well meaning friends who want to encourage and don't realize by doing so they mask issues that need to be addressed not dismissed as "fish food".
I know you are strong enough to handle just about anything and was hoping you would take what I said and give it the some serious consideration.
I thank gd1 for her insights as well because she also seemed to grasp what I was saying.
I am glad you didn't make the casserole!!
He most definitely mudddied the waters with multiple issues when faced with having to talk about an uncomfortable issue, the question was why.
I believe we both know this is a defense mechanism on his part to aviod a perceived reaction from you......
It worked for his immediate purposes but it also meant avoiding telling you any furthur info, which is what you are alluding to here...he didn't come out with all of it.
Of course you are not the only person who gets stuck on something and can't move on...in fact I don't see you doing that very much at all..You have an amazing ability to move forward in a positive way even thought things may be difficult. I think you just may be asking something of him that he cannot do....just yet.
And it was great that you wrapped up the convo because of the circumstances not because you wanted off the phone I apologoze if I musread that...it had seemed from the post like you were avoiding furthur conversation except about what ever YOU wanted to talk about.......however how it appeared to Mr. W is another thing....and I can only go on what was conveyed in the posts....in other words not as much detail about the end of the convo as you just put here.... Okay, so if you want to have him tell you something with conviction, in a self assured voice....and I do believe you do......then you must create an environment in which he can do this. This is VERY tricky, because of his family history and because of past interaction with you, so this will be a great challenge but I know you can and have done this on occassion. But he's really gonna need this alot more....he hasn't yet accepted that you are not going to be disaapointed(notice I did not say blast him) when he has something to tell you which he thinks you may not like....
Showing the soft side stuff is easy for me....but I realize it's not for everyone....it takes a little practice and nerve....it ain't easy! It can make you sick to your stomach because you are so vulnerable to rejection...but I know you are capable!! He's watching all the time!! Even if you don't realize it ....and don't let his bluff fool you...he's indifferent because he doesn't yet know what to trust and what to believe about what you are saying, doing, or meaning.....That's why honesty os sooooo important...even if it means you get hurt first...
A mojor dose of seeing you be honest about your feelings may encourage him to be honest about his...but I would expect him to test the waters quite a bit before being REAL with his feelings all that much....just watch it!! he may say something very revealing about his feelings and you are going to have to be super sensitive to that sharing!
About the affection ...that will come...he wants it too!!( all those bathroom conversations tell me and he does something as intimate as making your bed!!) He's just a little unsure of where that leaves him when he let's you know he needs or wants it....
.Hug him...don't wait for him.
I know you are trying, but he oops shoot I just lost the rest of my post!!!
