I still like blue, what else?

[albamarie]

Thanks Snodderly and Mtnman - I was his prize...I think/hope he's aware!


I feel better again being able to brush off his weirdness and go about myself. Today he said he is the one who makes the scarifies, faces the hard toils, not us, but for us!!!???

What can I do, I'm not trying to make him work to death and push himself behind human capabilities, chain smoke, be sleep deprived, and hungry, that's all on him. I feel confident in my Standing, and I will be ok when/if this ends, I am also protecting myself for if this ends abruptly.

I started watching Gray's Anatomy, I'm on season 2 when a women is crying over her deceased L and her friends says, he's not there...that's not him anymore, he stopped being him when his heart stopped! That is exactly how I feel, my h's hurt has frozen in time, and h has gone!

"I am a sink with and open drain, there is no enough" I want it all now, friends, a life, fun, me, L, sex yea I said it, freedom from walking on egg shells and relaxation!

Letting the anxiety go (for the most part) has freed my thinking and makes it easier to move ahead. I am learning how to do me, while still showing h compassion and understanding, though I am faking it more and more! I care less and less!