It kills me that it seems my H is so angry all the time. I have been putting my best foot forward and am pleasant and positive when he is around all the time, but nothing seems to make him happy, at least not that I have seen. He doesn't spew, but he doesn't crack a smile not even when he sees the boys.
I miss my old H. He would have a permanent smile on his face as soon as he woke up in the morning.
My son said a few days ago that Daddy came to them and said that he was sorry things were the way they are and that me and him would never be together again. OUCH!!! Could he really be that happy with OP that he would throw everything away like this? I know, fog. But sometimes I wonder if I am deluding myself. Maybe a life with us was something he never wanted. 15 years, down the drain...emotional pain and damage all over the place...things said and done that will have long lasting if not forever effects. UGH!
BRNR,
Just wanted to let you know I feel so sorry for what you are going through.
The above is exactly what I have been experiencing from my XH. 15 years married. Two great kids whom he told (in an email) "that he was sorry things were the way they are and that me and him would never be together again. "
Mine has just D-ed me. He also threatens, periodically, to apply for custody of the children.
As soon as D was granted, he seemed to experience an immediate sense of relief and became 'nice' towards me again.
I have to treat this weirdness as part of the script.
It's what they DO in mlc. They see themselves as on a path and there's nothing we can do to change the way they're headed.
Once they get where they're going they might have to realise they're lost, but not until then.
What I want to say to you is that you can get through this. If I managed it, anyone can - I have been a basket case since BD.
D doesn't mean the end, unless you want it to. I know people keep saying that, but it's true.
As much as it pains me to admit it, I actually even feel better, myself, now that the D is done. The anticipation was worse than the thing itself.
Please have faith in yourself. You have come this far; we are all here with you.
We know what this is like, and we've dragged ourselves through. We're reaching out to pull you along with us.
