"My husband's not an alcoholic because he never drinks before 5 pm" "My husband's not an alcoholic because he holds down a good job" "My husband's not an alcoholic because he sometimes quits drinking for 2-3 months at a time" "My husband's not an alcoholic because ....."
Can you see how none of these statements would preclude a man being an alcoholic, but are often used as statements of denial when a codependent spouse is in denial about their alcoholism?
"My husband's not a gambling addict because he sells his plasma to fund his gambling" "My husband's not a gambling addict because he once won enough to support us for 4 months" "My husband's not a gambling addict because he has strict guidelines about stopping when he reaches his daily limit"
None of these excuses offset the fact that he is spending valuable family time, that he could be spending with his kids, pursuing the high of gambling. And it IS a high, when the gambler wins, they get a dopamine rush in the brain just like you would from a hit of cocaine.
Now yes, your H may have an OCD problem, and his history of obsessive pursuits would fit that. OCD traits just make him all the more vulnerable to a gambling addiction. He may be controlling it now (you don't know for sure if you haven't run a credit check on him, he might have run up debts you don't know about - I've seen that happen a lot in MLC). But it's a very dangerous thing for him to be doing.
Please read The Courage to Change if you won't go to Alanon.
