Yes I have read both. I have tried going dark or what I thought it meant. It didn't seem to phase him. I will read the link you provided and double check.
Recently when I talked to my coach, this wasn't even on the list of things I should continue to do. Maybe I misunderstood.
Originally Posted By: Cadet
What do you like to do? What new activities can you find? Maybe going to the library or volunteering at a Hospital? What are you passionate about?
A lot of what I like to do is at home. I like digital scrapbooking - I taught myself how to use Photoshop a few years ago. Unfortunately, I work and I work long hours with a commute, so it is difficult to volunteer places.
I love to cook but have a hard time doing it right now because he will eat it and whine about it.
I looked into classes at the college near me but it being summer my choices were limited and most of them during a time I would be at work.
Originally Posted By: Cadet
By not sitting around moping about his affair. Acting "AS IF" everything is fine and that you are going to be OK. Fake it until you make it. Read on this forum and understand what you are dealing with. Do you have friends? Maybe starting a diet or taking a class. Play a sport or an instrument.
Before all this started, I was very active had started a new eating habit - Clean eating and was quiet content with things. I lack friends and I do not know how to get them. I do not trust easily. I have a few "couple" friends but they don't like doing stuff with me alone.
Originally Posted By: Cadet
Create some GOALS. And start working towards them. Do you have a job? YOU CAN DO THIS
I have goals I reviewed with the coach and I have started doing some things towards them, but they are slower goals. Like loosing the weight I put on due to some medicine I was on. Some other goals are events like I want to go here or there and I have already made plans. However, most of them do not require me to get a life. I do have a job and I am so far ahead in my job training material that I have to stop.
There are other things I would like to do - like get a new car, learn to fly a sailplane, travel, etc. but they take money and until my life settles down I am in a hold on to my money position.
I feel like I am whining but in reality I am just frustrated.
