i sure hope you're rite. worked again today- this was in the elementary school library. it was easier - i guess you can get used to anything. i still don't have any "game" when it comes to dealing with these kids- you know, the tough to deal with ones- wiseguys, etc.
oh well- everyone else was making me laugh today- i'd say a good day.
gonna walk in a second when knock on door- tired but okay. i would like to see what you see - me doing okay.
i just feel like, why bother (with him) with talking to him- even bothrin g to share my life with him- why the heck would he ask, and why would i want to even bother to go there and talk about it - he's made his choice.
that's how i'm feeling. you wanna be there- go be there- leave me the hell alone. as usual- i'm sweraing up and down i'm not going to pick up the phone.
but then- how the heck does he know i'm gal & doing fun stuff and being a different person if i don't? i'm still stuck on that one- how to make it all happen.
stop talking to him and go dark- and let him know how busy and fun i am.
cripes! for today- im thinkng don't talk anymore .
don't know if he goes to see ow this weekend- probably panting by his front door to be off. yeah-i know- don't think about what he's dong. i've been doing better and better with that as i go out more and stay out more and amnot around the house.
oh well- i'mplantin gmostly flowers - usually- but some tomatos (love them) andmaybe something else- i can't figure out what. i like rubarb and i'd like a gooseberry bush. LOVE those tart flav ors in incredibly sweet things- like pie and jam.
such a sweet tooth-
anyway- have some zinnias (LOVE the brigt brassy colors all mixed together- red pink-orange yellow- you name it- wow
and some lilies- can't resist them. they're so hearty and do it all on their own.
wish i could send a picture of my garden with the bright charteruse edge of euyanemous(sp) and inside allll forgetmenots blooming- blue blue blue
lovely want to dive in
i'm outta here- maybe back later if i can resist whining.
you sound good so yay you. i get glimpses and it makes me anxious and mad that he is jerking around sooooo long. feels like a lifetime- maybe it is.
i wonder how surprised he'll be when i finally just walk the he!! out of his life . he thinks i'm soooo lame i'll stay forever- rite where he put me- rite where he thinks i should be , in my little box.
oh man- is he ever wrong. i'm soooo in the mood for some fun in life- it's too short for real. spent eveninglast nite with gal next door whose mom is in wheelchari- man oh man- sad as can be- what an ending to a nice life- she's soo trapped in that body- can't even get her thoughts and words out and cries in frustration-
not me baby- i'm not going to waste my life like that.
