I think what I got from it is to ask direct questions. I am afraid of those answers so I ask questions designed to get the answer I want. Manipulation 101. Maybe I'll teach a class.
Regarding emotional misery, it's mainly when regretting the past or fearing the future, so he says stay in the present moment. The present moment suks I say. (spell it right and its censored...weird) That's where the frustration comes in. When something suks I want to change it. Now. That's why I'm pushy.
My plan was to figure out where S16 was after C, so I texted her Hi. That's how we usually do it...instead of starting off with what we want to say. Instead of her normal Hey what's up? She said S16 says he's with friends. I asked if she knew who and where and she was trying to find out. Then he's with D18. Then I asked when can we talk about this situation? She said she's off next Thursday. I said me too.
So now I have directly asked for a time to discuss S16. I will also ask directly why she has consulted L.
That may seem like a dumb ? But I do want to hear it directly from her. The mindreading is exhausting and stressful. Some part of me still must be an optimist, because I don't want to assume she will D. Maybe it's denial. Then again I have no assertion from her, only my reading her actions.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
