It's a fine line... so don't feel you need to transfer my stuff over to your sitch. My H is not P/A with everyone--just me and his mother. Everyone else gets the Rock of Gibraltar.
Yes, I do think your H could have been setting you up. He might not see that he does it, though. Our 1999 MC had a difficult time getting Mr. W. to understand what a "set up" really meant. For the longest time, I just thought he was being deliberately obtuse. Now I see that he just doesn't get this.
Many people wouldn't see your behaviors as pushy. But I guess it doesn't mean much where your H was concerned. Maybe you were, maybe you weren't. You can only own up to your own stuff, but the rest is his.
Don't be too quick to assume all the blame, friend. He does have some big responsibility here. Sure you can analyize this until the cows come home and wonder if you might have changed things if you had reacted differently.
Maybe and maybe not.
But things are where they are right now because he chose not to believe that you could tackle the problems together. That was not your choice, and we both know it. He chose to leave rather than to confront.
So who's the bad guy? Neither. But he's not innocent either. Give yourself a big pat on the back for doing this DB thing twice in your M. You deserve it.
Big hugs.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
