T- I think you need to take a breath here and relax.
IMO I don't believe you are going to lose her if you take some more time on this.
Is that someone you want to begin a new relationship with anyway? Someone that will not give you some time to process and gain clarity on your thoughts? (Not sure if she is pressuring or threatening you or not?)
It seems like your head is in one place and your heart is in another. I've been there many times throughout my sitch.
Through my experience I learned that only when my head and heart were reconciled was I comfortable in making what I felt was the right decision at that time.
Sometimes it took a while, and that is ok.
We aren't deciding on burgers vs. dogs for dinner here, these are some high stakes with major ramifications.
If you are confused which it seems you still are, tell her so and tell her you would like to have a dialogue with her regarding all this but at a later point.
Respect yourself and hopefully she will respect you also.
