Sizing up the task ahead!

[mrtwopointfour]

So would it be accurate to say that keeping quiet is not helping your relationship? That’s what it sounds like to me.

I think so. Its killing conversation. And therefore taking me back to how I was before which is avoiding confrontation. (in a way). I have realised I have been Mr Nice Guy over the past few years doing anything i can to keep her happy, even if walking away from arguments, and therefore not resolving issues. This keeping quiet is a more polite form of that in my eyes.

his will require YOU becoming comfortable around (the new) her.

This is true. I think its also becoming comfortable with her talk of us being no longer together.

Nothing good can come from initiating the D or R topic. Don’t do it. Ever. But if she brings it up you must acknowledge it. Something like “It’s not what I want but I understand you have to do what you feel is right for you. I will not stand in your way.”

^^^This lets her know where you stand, while taking all the pressure off her to stay. It also leaves her wondering (I think) if leaving is really what she wants.

I know this is right - but why am I so nervous of saying this. I feel its like I am passing her the keys to escape the cage. Wow - that statement says a lot doesn't it - need to think some more about what I just typed there.