Almost two years and still stuck in limbo

[newman7977]

Ok so the night was mellow. W is clearly in her grieving stage/withdrawals of the OM, which is expected. Every time she backslide she will go through this. The good thing is that she realizes that what she's doing is not right, she needs help, and she even says there's something going wrong with her...but with any addiction it is a battle. I understand that this is her issues to fight but I will call her out every time as long as we live together. I will not enable her A & if she wants to pursue that she is free to go. I have told her that.

It's interesting that in the beginning she is so set on getting a D looking for apartments I keep telling her reconsider and then one day I realize to let her go. Money is an issue we can't afford a mortgage and a rent. So I told her to live with her parents if she's so miserable at home and I will move with my mom. The kids keep the house we won't disrupt their lives moving from one place to the other...the kids come first. So we take turns but no now that's not what she wants.

I think what she wanted is that I move and I'm welcome to stay for the days I spent time with the kids as long as we don't do H&W stuff. So she's basically with the kids everyday. Well I don't agree with that so we are both living in the same house and the same bed.

Some hope, she mentioned also that everyday she looks at the frame with our wedding picture, and she asks herself Wth happened to us...funny because I look at that same pic and i ask myself the same thing...it made me feel good she said that maybe because she's seeking for answers as well.

Speaking of picture, for approx 2mos now I found this picture of me. I was probably late 20s in this picture. I look at this picture every morning because my W took this picture. I look at this picture everyday to get that guy back. Newman then was ooozing with confidence and testosterone, but somewhere along all this that guy left. I got to get that guy back because that's who my W fell in love with.

Anyway, there's got to be a reason why we're still together and only time will tell. Ok I'm ramblin now I got to get to work.

Good weekend everyone,
Newman