New to this ...

[steveh27]

wish i could change my subject - very unthoughtful - but I was looking to just get something down and was not in a thoughful mood that day.

So went to dinner last night out - it was nice but quick felt rushed a bit and asked if the kids wanted to get some icecream down the road. Of course they said yes, and I asked the W if she had time. She said she did but we were both stuffed and barely ate our cones. I took the kids from there and she went to pick up her sister. Said have fun, and she was off. I decided to take the kids out to a pottery place to make some gifts for Mothers Day coming up. My S14 was not thrilled, but once we got there he got into it. He's a good kid. The D13 and D9 loved it and we'll have to pick up the final "masterpieces" next week. We went home and I didn't even think of checking in or texting. I then noticed she got me a few b-day presents (shoes i needed for work and a Kan-Jam Frisbee game we could use when we go camping. Card from the kids but not from her, its ok though. We like to camp as a family, kind of read into it a bit about the future, but caught myself. Later, my D13 texted her though to ask about having friends over tomorrow, she said ask dad as she has plans for dinner with sister again tomorrow. Forgot to mention that in my prev post. W asked about that yesterday, and what was I going to say - No? Her sister asked if she could get out 2 nights in a row but just for dinner tomorrow. They havent been close in many years and I know its important, but I fear her sister is looking for another "wing-man" or bringing her to the dark-side (i need to trust the force :)) for her outings. My W isnt like that, but I need to control myself and not think this is some MLC either. I am still thinking there maybe a little of that, but unclear as I'm focusing on my problems within the M.

W came home last night from the concert around 11 - I was dozing off in bed with my D9 on the floor next to me because she hasnt been fond of her own room. Half asleep I said hey - how was your time. She snickered and said you were right - that place is weird and not my cup of tea. She said the music was good but too loud because of the close stage venue. With that I said thank you for the gifts, and she said I hope you like the shoes. I said I really like them. Mentioned I would get up in the morning with the kids, as Fridays has been my day to let her sleep in a bit, and she said ok. This is a good thing as she wants the control over the kids in the morning, as she says "thats what she does". Also back when the B dropped she said dont change because I dont want the kids thinking something is weird and dad is being overnice, so when we possibly do sep, it wont look like the she is the bad guy. I ignored that obviously, my 180's won't allow that So this is a good thing she is open to allowing me to do this, it means she is noticing. Small wins. This morning went ok, got the oldest 2 off to school and let the S9 and W sleep for a little over an hour. S9 always looks for mom in the morning, so she feels obligated to get up, trying to alleviate this but not a focus right now. Got rdy for work and took S9 to work, Ive been giving quick hugs in the morning w/o reciprocation, as this was a big thing with her in the mornings before that I used to not be good at. I know this is against DB, but its hard for me. I should stop because i think it pressures her, but it also seems part of my 180 since she always wanted this before i left. Any advice on this?