That is what I, Anchor the shark, see him as!! A funny little rabbit...he's running around scared to death and looks like a fool (did you ever notice that 'food' (as in shark food) is only one letter off from 'fool'...hmmm...) because he is running from nothing. He just hasn't figured it out yet. But, I have a strong feeling that he's starting to trust that Bruce hasn't had tartar sauce or lemon juice on his grocery list for some time and has no intention of adding it back on. I'd bet big money that your fish friend or rabbit or a*hole or whatever he is will make his next move back home...
If Sting Ray weren't a fish, he'd be gopher. He makes a giant mess of things and pops his head up once in a while to see what is going on, but then goes back down and continues to mess up something I've worked very hard at creating and maintaining. Stupid gopher.
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
Well, who said that sharks are always smart or good? My fellow sharks and I have had our moments of eating a*holes. They just make our stomachs upset for weeks afterward...
It's better to eat a plankton burrito and wait it out. All of our fish friends (who are periodically a*holes) have moments of clarity and a genuine ability to be sincere and kind. We just don't catch them being that way enough.
And sometimes when we do, we're hungry and attempt to eat them.
This does not make it easy to construct a list of fish friends to bring to future meetings. They've heard through the grapevine that the rumor is that some of them are eaten when they're not acting aggressive.
Besides, who wants fish today? I'm swimming along by myself pretty nicely right now...
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Rabbits and gophers--both of them are stupid rodents. Our old house was run amuck by a huge rabbit family. I asked a neighbor to borrow his BB gun, and Mr. W. shrieked with terror: "YOU CAN'T SHOOT RABBITS!"
Who said?
Well, now I see his motivation. He didn't want me to shoot a relative of his. I wonder how he's going to react when my dad retires to his underground condo (hmmmm, maybe a euphanism for a gopher hole or wherever gophers dwell)--I'm inheriting his gun collection!
Being Scots as well, I'm also bequeathed his swords. I get a little *aroused* at the thought of owning them, and will showcase them in my house properly. I gave one of them to him for his 65th birthday--he told me it was sharp and it surprised the hell out of him.
Weaponry 101 will be taught at my house as soon as my Dad gets hit by the proverbial bus....
Look for more details in your mailbox!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I have to watch Nemo again to pick out a character so right now I remain "nemoless".
I looked back over your threads and I think our H's share similar traits. My will ask me about something that he told me about (which he didn't) and then be upset (and not say anything) when I don't know what he is talking about.
I have to remind him that he needs to have his conversations with me out loud .
I loved the way you handled the follow-up conversation and may have to try that here sometime. We have never been to C because my H won't. I went alone a few times, but after 3 sessions the C told me I should attend a D education class.
I told her I wasn't interested and never went back. The only good thing she did was recommend the book DB. I read it and came on here and this place has saved me and my R with my H.
I'm like you - I would love it if my H would come home and work on things. He is here all the time anyway. But so far, I just have to be patient like you.
I see that road trip turned toward the south. I am near the Mall of America and would have enjoyed the company. I only go there with out-of-towners.
Oh well. Keep swimming...
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
A Scot, hm? I knew there was a reason you were so feiry - I'm Irish ya know, with the temper to match. I've heard Scots women are stubborn...do you fit the bill? Leave that fishie be!!! I think my officemate ownders why I keep laughing...eep!
((((Betsey)))))
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Isn't that funny about the H conversations in their heads? I wonder why he thinks he shares things with me when pretty much nobody knows what is going on inside of his noggin?
Well, the MC was productive if short lived. So I don't think I'm better off than you. Reading the part about recommending a D class hit me hard in the solar plexus though. Where do these people come from?
Pamela made the mistake of bringing up a technique I shared with her (from MC) and her C told her to tell me that she could do her own job just fine! What a boob!
We don't know where the road trip will lead (and when), so just keep swimming here and maybe we'll all come up with a decision.
So we all need to keep swimming... it's the only answer.
Hugs.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Quote: So we all need to keep swimming... it's the only answer.
THE ONLY ANSWER
I have a friend who I have been "coaching" through finding out about her H's EA. He told her the EA lasted only 3 weeks, but he has spent the last month vacillating back and forth between "we had so much together" and wanting to recommit to his M. Well, last night he told my friend that it was "over" he was in the "twilight zone" for those three weeks and that nothing "was real." He has finally decided ON HIS OWN that he cannot talk to OW anymore, including phone conversations.
While I was "coaching" her (cause everyone else was using the "how dare he" approach) she has in turn educated me, again, that the real solution to this is to wait for them to come to their OWN conclusions, and, alas, that requires that we KEEP SWIMMING... however, I do think Sydney IS getting closer.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Wow, I hadn't noticed! We ARE getting closer to Sydney!
Thanks for the lesson, HOn. I periodically need for my fish friends to tell me this, especially when I feel like I'm swimming around aimlessly. I'm not a shark who likes swimming like Dory... I swim to get somewhere.
Until now.
Thanks!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Hi again,me again.Needing help again. I think I have a handle on how my reactions to some P/A coping skills of my X, caused that famous whirlpool (donwward negative spiral in Nemospeak). I also realize that I had some P/A responses myself. But I am less clear on the things that PROVOKEDE a P/A response from X...and I am guessing that these might be the crazy making things? I need some examples if you can of how we can provoke the P/A response from partners who have a tendency to use P/A to 'defend' themselves. Thanks, Betsey!...I'm trying to see if I can use an approach in depositions that will CONFRONT but not PROVOKE more of same and thus get me a better settlement. So far, I've just been defensive and that seems to make it all worse. In our M, I think I was a Mrs. Fix-it and then got upset when I received no attagirls in response to a job well done. But now I guess I will have to learn what I did to PROVOKE......gd
