So, here we are, another new thread on the horizon...
The conversation between OW and myself has been replaying in my mind. Various things stick out, and while only she knows her true intention of talking to me, I believe that everything she does is self- serving in nature, and this is no different.
I told my one friend and confidant, the person that also works with H and OW about the conversation. In her words, she thinks that OW is "losing her footing" and "is a loose cannon". She agrees that something is up, and that the talk was an act of desperation.
Something that we discussed was what exactly OW could be thinking or planning, what manipulations is she trying to work on?
See, (and I don't think I have shared this before), OW is on her second M. She M young because she was pregnant and also to spite her mother. Strange how that M didn't work out lol!!! Anyway, this has always been a source of shame for her - she hated that her son had a different last name than her, hated that her kids had different fathers, hated that she was ever married before her current H.
Because of this history, I don't see her leaving her H to pursue an A. I know that it couid happen, I just don't think it's likely.
Instead, I could see her trying to convince H to leave me so that she could have him all to herself (in her mind) and have him at her beck and call.
But I believe that she and I are slowly switching places in H's heart - a kind of emotional osmosis. And I think she may realize this, even if I'm not sure that he's fully realizing/understanding this.
As I have been consistent with giving him space, no pressure, and having a life outside of him, I believe that she has become more demanding, more controlling, and wanting more from him.
So as far as I'm concerned, I'm not going to "do something" right now besides keep doing my thing.
My friend said something else interesting to me... Now because she works with H and has known him for many years, she was able to see how he had changed. She knew he was different. He really hasn't bothered to try to hide that at work, or maybe it was too hard for him to do.
She said that the other day, he saw her on their way out the door, and wished her a happy belated birthday. She was in shock. She said he looked like the H that she knew, he acted like himself.
Keep in mind that OW hates this friend, and they have had words. I can assure you OW would not want H chatting it up with her.
What does this all freakin mean?!?! That's the million dollar question.
So....
My current goals: 1. Continue to have no expectations 2. Continue to give him tons of space 3. Continue living my life, enjoying time with my kids, family, and friends 4. Continue to do things I enjoy - yoga, reading, being outdoors/gardening, planning fun things with the kids 5. Look for some new/fun things to do. My good friend and I are planning a girls spa overnight trip at a resort about an hour away. We are looking into doing a zip line tour and rock climbing. 6. Dig dig dig dig dig deep for patience, and then dig some more
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rH, Gal, WH, Raine(and the many others who enjoy OW bashing) will get a kick out of this...
As I'm telling my friend about the conversation with OW:
Friend: I can't believe you didn't jump across the desk and put her in a head lock
Me: I may be pissed off, but I'm not stupid. She had 40 pounds on me.
Friend: oh dear, it is WAY more than 40 pounds!
Lol!!!!!
Right now, I do believe the forecast for the A is a gloomy one. I don't want to lose sight of the big picture though, don't want to focus on that too much. Even if/when the A ends, it is going to be a long road for H and myself.
Good thing I have such terrific travel companions here as I keep on keepin on
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
