Having been divorced in NY, I can say that if she filed the papers then you or your attorney would have been served.
Does it really matter if you tracked her down or someone snitched on her? Look at how it looks in her eyes. Perception isn't always correct but that is her reality. It is how it looks in her mind.
You seem to have this need to be "right". It is a trait that I have as well. It is hard to resist that sweet satisfaction of being right. That ooey gooey goodness... Yeah.
I have learned a valuable lesson. I don't always have to be right. Sometimes it is okay to be wrong or even just not state that you are.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
