The Art of Invisibility

[mizjjd]

There is much more about my H that leads me toward "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" rather than gambling addiction.

But then, I come to a point of wondering... so what?

So what if I can say "H acts the way he does because he suffers from X, or Y"?

The end result is, he's a jerk. Knowing the "why" of his behavior does make it a bit easier to deal with but its kind of like knowing "why" someone has shot you - you still have to contend with the bullet. And, in my case, I have to contend with knowing H is unlikely to change his behavior.

Even if he is in MLC, and I do believe that he is, frankly he wasn't all that terrific before. His issues are life long. So, his "leaving the tunnel", not sure I'd know the difference lol.

And, finally, no thank you on the al anon. (Oldtimer and I have thoroughly discussed this on a prior thread.)

Do I have attributes of a co-dependent? Yes, some.

I am not remotely, even a tiny tiny bit, interested in attending an al-anon session. This was my response to OT,

OT, I do not feel that the "type" of meetings you suggest are appropriate for me. I have some (limited) experience with these due to my brother. The people at these meetings have tangible addictions in their loved ones. What am I supposed to say. "Hi my name is MizJ and my husband used to golf. Oh, and he's generally speaking not that great of a husband." No. Thank you, but no.

and I stand by it. H's gambling causes no more harm than his golfing did. Its more his entire mindset, that all the sandwiches are for him, that is damaging.

Thank you for checking in with me.

~ have a great day!!