We're just grasping for self esteem and self respect. We've trained ourselves that our spouse is there to help provide that, but now they are not.

When you feel badly about yourself it's tempting to say something mean or vindictive to someone else because in the moment you get a fleeting bit of satisfaction, but then afterwards you feel worse than when you started.

If she brings it up tell her it was a mistake to send those texts and you're not interested in discussing it any further, then change the subject.

Acc

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015