The Art of Invisibility

[mizjjd]

Question. If I had said H spends his time

• playing hockey,
• coaching hockey,
• building boats out of pvc and fiberglass,
• playing golf,
• building a business,
• building a house

Would you, kml and fy, have felt the same way? I think oldtimer came closer with the idea of "process addict".

I have looked up "signs of gambling addiction" - because of your responses here.

1.The gambler's life is now centered on gambling and how to acquire money with which to gamble. A preoccupied gambler may duck out of certain obligations and spend money designated for other purposes just to fulfill the gratification gained by gambling.
H has a gambling budget - has never asked me for house money to go gambling with. He started his gambling with funds earned from donating plasma. Prior to gambling? He didn't contribute his plasma money to the house then either, it has always been his pocket money.
2.People with a gambling disorder will play until their last dollar is spent.
Never has.
3.A problem gambler may, unsuccessfully, try to control or stop their gambling.
H has had one other period of intense gambling. It was about 9 years ago. He supported our family for 4 months this way. When he felt it was interfering with the family he stopped. Without any signs of "withdrawal".
4.Pathological gamblers may also use gambling to escape from the world. They may be attempting to run away from their problems or to combat negative feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, or depression.
This one I'll agree with, "helplessness, guilt, anxiety and depression" for sure.
5.The gambling addict may also become a chaser of losses. In other words, when the gambler losses money, he or she returns the next day to try to gain it back or get even with the house.
Haven't seen this. H has a per diem gambling budget - when its gone, he's gone (from the casino). This is an area of discipline for him.
6.Lying to friends and family about the amount of time and money spent gambling is a definite warning sign of a gambling disorder.
H was hiding his gambling from his mother. When he spent the 2 weeks with them, this ended. There is no one he lies to about gambling - he doesn't find it shameful.
7.Problem gamblers continue to gamble despite risking or losing significant relationships or aspects, like school or career, of their lives.
Our R was in trouble before the gambling began, BD occurred prior to the gambling.

Breaking this post up in the interests of readability.