Take the hits and keep moving forward.

[T1000]

Went to see IC this morning hoping for the magic pill to help me feel better but obviously he didn't have one.

He mentioned that my W and I have a different moral code. He asked me if I can live with someone with a different moral code.
Asked me how I would feel if I met someone like myself with a similar moral code.
I said if I add the preferences I had already in a partner and then to find one with the same moral code I would be looking a long time.
He didn't really point me one way or the other but I found whenever he mentioned anything that wasn't to do with reconciling with W I found it objectionable.

I have been thinking lately:
What would I do if I won the lottery?
and
What would if I do/feel if she started D?

4 weeks ago if I won the lottery I would have kept DBing.
Now I don't know. Too emotional to say.

I think if she started D I would panic.

I can vividly remember her telling me on Sunday. I play it though my mind every now and then to try and release it. Trying to live with it rather bottle it up. It helps if I'm sat on soft furniture I can punch.

Going to pick the kids up in a few hours. I'm going to be pleasant and act 'as if'.