Moving forward with my life

[T1000]

That's the plan. I am not going to tell her how I know at all.
I'm just going to say it doesn't matter how I know, but the fact is I know the truth

Don't say the last bit.

[uRworthy]

C, let me ask you something. What did you hope to accomplish by telling her what you found out?

Really think about it.

And I would not bring it up to her.

But I will tell you this. If she brings it up, she will most likelhy be angry.And the conversation is going to be all about how you found out.

Just want you to be prepared for that.

And you saying you know the truth is gonna pisss her off, too. It sounds controlling and superior.

Always try to keep it real with you, C.

[MrCAS]

and the funny, meaning sad, part is that I can hear myself saying something like that just six months ago... in that superior snotty tone... "I know the truth..."

Sometimes I wonder if all of our brains were on sale a K Mart one weekend on some blue light special...

[Accuray]

We're just grasping for self esteem and self respect. We've trained ourselves that our spouse is there to help provide that, but now they are not.

When you feel badly about yourself it's tempting to say something mean or vindictive to someone else because in the moment you get a fleeting bit of satisfaction, but then afterwards you feel worse than when you started.

If she brings it up tell her it was a mistake to send those texts and you're not interested in discussing it any further, then change the subject.

Acc

[cbtdad]

"If she brings it up tell her it was a mistake to send those texts and you're not interested in discussing it any further, then change the subject."

I like it and that's what I will say. That is perfect, because I do not want to discuss it. What's the point? And what's the point in telling her i know the truth. She knows the truth. Lol she's living it.
It's best to just let it go and let her live it out and focus on me.
Now I know what's best. It's just doing it

[MrCAS]

Why is knowing and doing such polar opposites on the comprehension scale?

We know what to do and what we should be thinking but we allow ourselves to act like buffoons and use less common sense than God gave the common turnip.

Who's done that? C'mon... Raise your hand... You... In the back,,, you are such a fibber! What's with the guy over there with both arms raised? Ph. That's my reflection in the mirror.

[jp787]

Why is knowing and doing such polar opposites on the comprehension scale?

We know what to do and what we should be thinking < That is our logic but we allow ourselves to act like buffoons and use less common sense< That is our emotions than God gave the common turnip.

[cbtdad]

W came to pick up son for a few hours. Thank God. He was not too happy at first, but warmed up. Son went to play game for a little bit before he left and my wife was sitting on the groin against the wall and just started crying and broke down.
I asked her if there was anything I could help with. She said, "I just feel like I'm making all the wrong choices. Nothing I'm doing is right"
I validated her by saying how tough it must be to be dealing with everything she is dealing with.
We then walked outside. And I apologized for sending texts and told her there was nothing to discuss. She kept talking about her kept crying and crying, I just listened and validated where I could. She said that everything she is doing makes no sense and is stupid. I told her that her choices are what he needs to decide and that they are neither right or wrong, but that they her decisions.
I told her that she has the choice to do what makes her happy and that's what she needs to figure out and decide for herself.
We didn't get into anything about "her and I"
Overall I think I handled it great and was supportive but not "weak"
After about 10 mins of talking she said I don't want to discuss this anymore right now. I said that's fine and she took son and left

[Accuray]

Good job cbtdad, don't be surprised if she follows that up with a period of icy coldness.

Accuray

[cbtdad]

Thanks Accuray!
I hate seeing her cry and being hurt like that. I want to help her so bad, but I know she doesn't want that from me right now.
Like the wise man told me the other night, "it's tough because you know our wife better than anyone else on this earth, but unfortunately she trust you the least of anyone on this earth right now"