Gosh, do you think you could bring someone that looks like Brad Pitt along? I mean you don't have to choose one that steals from you too...
But wasn't the purpose of this trip to get Pamela to spend some money on herself in the form of some new duds? Although I'm sure you two can handle that job outside a road trip.
Right now, I think Mexico is the only place that is semi warm.... and it's not sounding like a bad thing to me. But then there's this money thing. I don't think Mr. W. is coming home anytime soon, and since I got the property tax bill yesterday, I realize that I'm going to have to cover the shortage in escrow.
Arrrggghhhhh.
Hey, my house works too! It's going to be 60 here today. This means we're going to have hell to pay in Feb and March. And I have to tell you I hate having snow on my birthday... it totally sucks.
Bruce
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Here's a late congratulations on holding your own during the R convo - especially after the "I'm still figuring things out" remark - that was probably a hard one. ((((Bruce))))
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Myrrh--Thanks for the hug. But I'll tell you I'm much more relieved by that remark than unhappy. After all, since I know he is not ready to work on things with me, I appreciate his confusion more than I would appreciate being served with D papers.
So this is actually what I wanted to hear right now. It gives me more time to be a nicer shark...
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
He is blessed to have such a patient wife. I loved the way you handled the R talk too. I'm glad he was able to recognize that HUGE step of your not getting mad about his decisions. His having to acknowledge that out loud had to be helpful for his "thinking".
Hey Bets, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I would have KILLED to have a conversation like that with my X...anytime, ever. Honestly, I read what you wrote and thought there would be a punch line at the bottom: and then I woke up and it was all a dream.
It was....a HEALTHY and respectful conversation and I realize that you were responsible for initiating and guiding it, but his resonses had no glimmer of P/A. Amazing! I wish you could get him to initiate your going back to MC and that the MC could suggest that now that you both have had time to grow that it is time to move back together in living arrangements to PRACTICE what you both have learned. (an OUTSIDE and EXERT opinion is much better than a Bets opinion, neh?)
Appreciation: I am guessing that that is one of your H's love languages and that maybe in the past you forgot to appreciate him . (Or, when and if he didnt' seem able to appreciate you you finally got tired of not getting reciprocal appreciation...that is my case.) But look how that lovely DB technique worked! I think this was a win/win day....celebrate tonight, you deserve it! gd
let me tell you, daughter and i watched finding nemo this morning, which has been the first time i have watched it since you have started with the theme
the movie just took on a whole new meaning for me...
No, I'm not offended by your observations. You're dead on.
The P/A thing... well, since I read the book and had a C appt with Laurie, I was forced to look at his behaviors deeper. I realized that he behaved in a P/A manner when I pushed those buttons with him.
So, you're right: there were none evident today. And I will give him credit for making progress on this front too. Go Mr. W.!
But I have to give myself a big attaboy too. The me of a year ago would have handled that topic very differently (and I would have been guaranteed a P/A response).
Actually, Acts of Service is his LL, but he felt all along that I didn't appreciate them. And you're right about giving up on him when he quit trying with me. Again, he gave up giving me WOA shortly after D9 was born. I kept putting gas in my own tank before I realized that he had walked away from the petrol station a long time before that.
Thanks to DB/DR, Michelle, Laurie, JJ and the rest of the folks here, I've seen the light!
I'll toast to you tonight ok?
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Grats, Betsey - it's awesome to see you ladies (Meredith, you, etc) really doing this - bet you never thought you'd be role models for us little db'ers, hm?
I know this week has been different because I have been in contact with people who knew what they were doing. Less crazymaking, pursuit, etc - thanks!
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
I'm still laughing at the visual of Mr. W. being a rabbit (in a warren--that's where those miserable rodents live), throwing out a cherry bomb in my ocean and then running away!
Boy, did you get that visual right or what? Mr. W. is definitely like a scared little rabbit. I wonder if he will turn into a hedgehog on GH day in a couple weeks?
I'm also thinking of saving the SAD clock for his b-day, which is on 2/10. I can stomach the thought of spending $100+ on a bday gift, but not a housewarming gift. A*holes get cards or some salty snacks--which he really likes.
Even though I'm still pleased at how things turned out, I still think he's an a*hole.
And sharks don't eat them...
Bruce
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
