Time for the Loop the Loop on this rollercoaster!

[SM34]

Mr bond that is EXACTLY how I feel. And her mother shares this view too.

now I have my issues and I could have done things differently in our marriage, but I believe it would have only kicked the can down the road.

from the start, my wife has had self esteem issues. She told me before that it started when she was 9 years old and one of her uncles commented about her weight infront if her wnole family.

I know gabbysmom said 'what, now your sitch is caused by her low self esteem?..

Well my reading in affairs seems to indicate that they ae ALWAYS based on lack of self esteem.

Confident people who are happy in their own skin cannot be lulled so easily into violating the rules of their own integrity.

So you hit the nail on the head. She has to realize that outside things, or pond scum affair partners will not ultimately make her happy.

She must pursue things that she enjoys, things that maker her happy. I have suggested this over the years cointless times and couldnt get through.

Of course now I understand about validating, and listening, and showing concern of her feelings and so I know I could have done things differentlu..

But ultimately there is something missing within her, AZ nd not within 'us' as a married couple. She needa to find that thing that will fill the void within herself before she can be happy, regardless.of what I do.

Her mom tried to tell her this back on BD. She tried to remind her that wife had done this same thing 7 years ago (7 year itch?) For the same reasons. Boredom, lack of creative outlet, lack of feeling that she belongs to an organization of a group of professionals etc..

Mr bond as you said, there is not so much I cam do but wait and see where her own personal journey takes her.

Her mom said she has to hit rock bottom as far as depression and then she will start to examine the fecisions she made and how they ultimately didnt make her any happier. Its an all too common story with divorcees it seems from my research. I read a study that suggests that upto 80% of divorced women regret their decision or believe they could have done more to save their marriage.

In the meantime, all I can do is become the husband only a fool would leave.

Last night I got D3 to finally go to sleeo by calmly holding her and soothing her by singing her favorite lullabys.

Wife had tried to get her to bed and it resulted in a shouting episide and D3 crying. After that W said I seemed to have a special way with her and that she likes that D3 feels so safe when she is with me.

I told her I had gotten lots of practice on the nights she is away, and that D3 seems to be developing a bond to me.

Not sure if that was the right thing to say, or whether it was pressure. But the truth is mommy is away two days a week and daddy is ALWAYS there.