JP, I am in the same boat as you and worry about the same things. Also I feel the failure with my sons and friends because of this sitch.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
